


Stupid

by SquigglyAverageJoe



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:48:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26352952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquigglyAverageJoe/pseuds/SquigglyAverageJoe
Summary: This was made for oliver—darling from the Summer Swap on Tumblr, and I worked really hard on it! (Was also a... surprisingly difficult thing to write, I don’t think I’ve ever really wrote anything that focused so much on Vaati and went into the depth this did. A LOT of thought went into this.)——Vaati works at a relatively modern coffee shop, in a relatively run down book store that gets way too busy for how underpaid it’s only employees are—he does not have a positive view of his job or even his co-worker, until he’s forced to start viewing his co-worker in a different light.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Stupid

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oliver—darling](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=oliver%E2%80%94darling).



For the middle of August, it is weirdly cold. Like, _weirdly_ cold. Probably about fifty degrees, which, in Vaati’s opinion, makes no sense—he woke up to the sun streaming through his curtains and blinds and into his eyes, nearly blinding him and when he walked outside, he had expected—as one naturally would with the bright blue sky and gaudy, yellow sunlight—it to be reasonably warm.

After all, it’s August. The moment he steps outside he realizes he has not chosen the right clothes for today. Honestly, fifty might not even be accurate. Maybe it’d more like, forty five. It is not pleasant.

He just zips his hoodie and keeps walking to work.

Ideally, he would drive, but his car has been out of commission for awhile and he supposes walking is better for the environment and his health. He still would much prefer driving, though—it requires a lot less effort and time. What he wouldn’t do for those extra thirty minutes of sleep...

The good news is the bookstore is just as warm as ever. He’s been working here for awhile—and the first thing he noticed when he started working here was that this was the perfect place to work during winter, or weirdly cold summer days. Specifically, though, the perfect place to work in the bookstore is in the cafe, behind the counter, which is where he worked and had been working for months.

It is only perfect in the way that he is surrounded by books, it is warm, well-lit and smells like coffee, and herbal tea, and chocolate and sea salt—in reality, behind the counter, they’re greatly understaffed, underpaid, and every customer looks at him, looks at his co-worker and then always asks if they are related, on top of occasionally assuming he is a girl and almost always mispronouncing his name.

Also, his co-worker is kind of useless. That too.

Said co-worker is behind the counter right now, in a rare moment of usefulness, wiping the counters and getting ready for the day. The store’s gonna open in thirty minutes, and despite the fact that Vaati feels like it’s too early, he’s here twenty minutes early, like he always is. (He’s tried to not show up so late, but somehow, he’s either always here twenty minutes early, or he’s five minutes late, no matter what he does. It’s incredibly irritating and seems to defy logic.)

Shadow glances at him when he joins him behind the counter. The space is plenty big enough for the two of them—likely because it was built for four people, because the person who made it knew how use the store could get and how mean the elderly got when you bumped into your co-worker and spilled the coffee it took five minutes to make, forcing you to make another while making three other different drinks. 

“Morning,” Shadow says. He glances at his phone, just to see the time. “You’re like, fifteen minutes too early.”

“Should I leave for fifteen minutes and then come back?” He’s not _actually_ going to do that.

“Probably not.”

Vaati slides on a pair of gloves—he loathes them with a passion. They absolutely suck. They’re slightly too big on him, which leads to fumbling with the drinks and dropping things and getting stuck in things.

“I swear, if another man tries to hit on me and calls me ‘sweet heart’ I’m giving him a cup full of espresso.”

“If another old woman tells me I shouldn’t be listening to music while I’m on the job and I have to explain that this—“ Shadow stops to gesture to the hearing aid he’s wearing—it’s not very small, but Shadow doesn’t really care. “—isn’t an earbud and that I need it to do my job, I’m going to flip a table.”

“The customers here are stupid.”

“So is our boss.”

“So are you.”

“Always nice talking to you, Vaati. Best part of my day.”

Vaati holds back a sigh while he places a cup down on the counter. “Zelda?” He calls—in the area, there must be a hundred Zelda’s, because this is the tenth one he’s made a coffee for.

A very tall man dressed in a yellow raincoat with dark brown eyes walks forward and takes a drink before Vaati can even think, ‘ _he sure doesn’t look like a Zelda to me_.’

“This isn’t what I ordered,” he says.

“Is your name Zelda?” He asks.

A fifty something old woman with electric green hair in a black dress with the voice of a chain smoker walks forward. “Did I hear my name?”

The man looks at him. “My name’s Carl.”

“Hold on a moment, ma’am, I have to remake your drink.”

Shadow places a simple green tea on the counter. “Carl?”

Carl takes it and throws the other drink away, not a hint of remorse on his face. That absolute _bastard_. Zelda shakes her head sadly. “I’m in a bit of a rush, miss, I have a funeral to get to.”

“I’m not a—“ He cuts himself off. He’s not going to get fired today because he shouted profanities at an old lady who’s sight was probably going anyway. “Hold on a moment, I’m going to remake yours.” Does he _sound_ like a woman or something? He feels like the fact that he has to tie his hair up at work might make him seem more like a girl, but wearing it down doesn’t look much more masculine.

Shadow drops a cup and spills a half full Frappuccino all over the counter. He mutters a curse beneath his breath and cleans it up—totally getting in the way of Vaati, trying to make this smoker’s Americano.

A young girl besides her mother peers up at him. “Mom, can I get a hot chocolate?”

“No, honey, I need my coffee before I drop you off at your father’s.” She orders the most expensive thing on the menu while her daughter pleads. “ _No_ , honey, it’s too expensive.”

Shadow—because secretly, he’s not a total jerk—fills up a small cup with what’s basically chocolate milk and whipped cream with sprinkles before handing it to the small girl when her mother isn’t paying attention. She squeals and pulls a single, tiny thing out of her pocket and drops it in the tip jar—it makes a loud noise as it hits the glass, the few dollar bills in there clinging to the sides. A coin is basically worthless, and impossible to divide between the two of them like they do for tips, but at least the girl is happy.

“How many shots is this?” A white woman in athletic gear asks, like she’s gonna jog around the book store.

“It comes with four—“

“No,” she says. No, it doesn’t? Does she think she knows the menu better than him? “I need less, can you remake this?”

“Yes.” In his head, he curses this woman and her entire family.

“Sorry, sir,” Shadow responds, and there’s a hint of dryness in his voice. “We can’t do that.”

“What do you mean?”

“We don’t have a discount like that.” Shadow looks very bored—and considering Vaati feels really bored, he doesn’t blame him.

“I’d like to speak to your manager.”

Shadow sighs. “Vaati.”

He decides he hates everyone who needs the manager for absolutely anything ever. “Shadow, remake this coffee with less shots.”

“Wait,” the woman says. “It has _coffee_?”

“What’s the problem?” He asks, and he tries to be friendly.

He also fails.

“I don’t know what the next shift is on,” Shadow says. “But why does all of the sea salt disappear by morning? Every Tuesday.” He’s trying to get some caramel off of the counter—it can’t have been there for long, but Shadow’s still struggling with it and has been for the past five minutes. “I mean, I like salt too, but seriously. It’s salt and it’s Tuesday and it’s too early in the week to handle this.”

“You also said that about the espresso last Friday,” Vaati points out. That had been hell—you have no idea how difficult it is for a _coffee shop_ in a book store to operate without espresso. Every customer had been like, _What do you mean you don’t have espresso?_ Vaati had meant they didn’t have espresso, because the later shift did some... weird things at work. He’s pretty sure, when he was getting ready to leave, he saw one of the girls shove a croissant into her bra. He still wonders why—all of the employees would still at least a little bit of food at some point in their career, but that was a weird way to hide the fact that you were stealing. ...An obvious way too.

“What are they doing with the espresso, though?” Shadow asks. “Eating it by the spoonful?”

Vaati shrugs. “Once, a man came in and wanted the largest size we had full of espresso. Nothing but espresso. Did not care that it expired. Espresso and a cake pop and he put a metric ton of honey in it, dropped a red bill in the jar and wandered off into the morning fog.”

Shadow drops the cloth and glares at the caramel—like he expects it to do something. “Well, I’m going on break.”

“Alright,” he says. He’s also due for a break by now, but there’s only two of them and he doesn’t want to leave the counter unattended.

His watch beeps—it’s exactly noon right now. He wonders, in the back of his mind, if it’s warmed up at all outside or if it’s still fifty degrees, as he makes his watch go quiet.

It’s noon—the actual best part of Shadow’s day.

The doors to the book store open, a cold gust of wind rushing inside as a bell rings, answering Vaati’s thoughts. A pale, blond man dressed in a pair of dark jeans, a long sleeved white shirt, and a purple hoodie enters. He’s a regular, Vio.

He wanders over to the shelves that have more of the newer novels and browses—but he keeps glancing at the coffee shop, like if he has his back to it for too long it’ll grow legs and walk away. After about five minutes of pretending to not look at it, he eventually walks over.

“Morning, Vio. The usual?” Licorice tea and a croissant. That was what he always got.

“Sure.” He glances around. “Is Shadow not at work today?”

“He’s on break.” He doesn’t mention that he’s likely just fixing his makeup—at least, Vaati’s pretty sure it’s makeup. Shadow _might_ just have pretty eyes, but he leaned towards makeup because Shadow also got manicures and it made more sense. “He’ll probably be back in a minute.”

Every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, Vio came in, ordered the same thing and got into a very long conversation with Shadow. That was why Shadow was so useless, really—because almost all of the days he worked, he got distracted by a conversation with a local nerd. Vaati didn’t know anything about him except what he looked like, his name, and his order—Shadow probably knew his middle name, and his favorite color, and his mother’s maiden name.

Sure enough, in a few minutes, Shadow’s back out, right as Vaati finishes up Vio’s order and hands it to him. “Hey, Vio.”

The smile on his face is bright as day. “Hey, Shadow. How’s Azalea?”

“She ate six donuts last night, she’s putting on some weight.”

Vaati rolls his eyes—but, as useless as Shadow is at work, at least he looks happy.

The end of their shift approaches—Shadow is talking with Vio for a longer amount of time than they usually do, but their conversation seems to be approaching the end. Vaati can tell from the way Vio moves, meaning he likely has something to do and needs to get going. He says...something and Shadow looks excited. He was so absorbed in the conversation he had with Vio, he didn’t notice Vaati was alone behind the counter, couldn’t clock out, and drank water instead of eating lunch.

Honestly, Vaati did not have even half the required patience for this job. At least it put food on the table, though.

Shadow finally came back over, with thirty minutes left in his shift. The other shift would arrive soon. “What were you talking about?” He asks.

“I have no idea!” Shadow exclaims but there’s a weird, brightness in his voice. At the very least, only one of them hates this job with a passion.

The two of them look at their tips in the jar, divide them evenly because they got the majority of them when they were most busy and Shadow wasn’t totally useless then. The coin the little girl gave them was actually a pebble, but in the girl’s defense, it was a pretty pebble.

“Have any plans for tonight?” Shadow asks.

“Eat a frozen lasagna, read a novel and go to bed early.”

Shadow frowns like this is disturbing. “...You’re not going to eat the lasagna _while_ it’s frozen, right?”

“No.” He unties his hair. “I’m assuming you’re asking me because you want me to ask if you have plans?”

“I’m hanging out with Vio and his friends! We’ve seen them, the colorful guys, one of them is always like, half asleep, one of them always buys like, half of our cookies and the largest cup of hot chocolate and there’s that one who’s always holding his hand? They’re always looking for Vio, apparently, because they walk down this street all the time and Vio sneaks away.” He definitely looks happy. “He invited me.”

Vaati would roll his eyes—but Shadow looks genuinely happy. “Sounds like fun,” he says. Work sucks for them both—and he supposes being mean to Shadow won’t really make his day any better.

The walk home feels colder than it should, and it’s longer than it should be. And of course, it starts to rain when he’s about halfway out the door.

Not just a drizzle—it starts to pour, like the clouds have opened up to cry their hearts out and ruin a few outfits and flood the streets. Vaati zips up his hoodie, but it doesn’t do much. He supposes it doesn’t matter—he thinks his immune system’s pretty strong, and he doesn’t mind the cold too much anyway. Regardless, he starts walking faster—he can’t get sick and call in for work tomorrow.

A car passing by starts to slow down, the window dropping. “Hey,” Shadow asks. He’s in one of those hybrids people went crazy for because the environment and then proceeded to do very little for the environment after purchasing it. “You need a ride?”

Well, definitely. But Vaati does not need to make friends at work. All he wanted was a quiet job, in a quiet part of the neighborhood, to be alone with himself. “I’ll pass.”

Shadow doesn’t leave. “You’re gonna catch a cold.”

“I’m fine.”

“You eat like, only vegetables,” he says. “There is no meat in your diet.”

“My health is fine.”

“You’re gonna get sick, and like, not even be able to eat chicken noodle soup.”

“There’s alternatives.”

“So, what, you’re gonna eat like, water and noodles instead of broth and pieces of chicken?” Vaati rolls his eyes. “Seriously. I can drive you.”

He stops. Shadow’s car stops. It is wet. His clothes are clinging to him like plastic wrap, he is cold and wet and as much as he doesn’t want to befriend Shadow, he’s probably looking like a major prick choosing to catch a cold than be in the same car as Shadow. “Fine.”

Shadow rolls up the window. For a minute, Vaati wonders if it was a joke and he’s just gonna speed off and ditch him, but then he leans over and opens the car door, the light in the car flickering on.

Reluctantly, Vaati steps in, sits, and closes the car door. Before he can even grab the seatbelt, Shadow’s speeding off with reckless abandon.

“I’m not a vegetarian you know,” he says, moving his hair out of his face.

“Sorry—vegan.”

“No—flexitarian, there’s a huge difference.”

“...Which is?”

“I still eat meat, just less.”

“...So, like a diet?”

“Did you ever graduate high school?”

“I did,” Shadow says. “Unlike you, I wasn’t homeschooled for all my life, and then I went to college and dropped out because it was too competitive and got a job as a tattoo artist. Turns out though, my boss was actually a terrible person and got sued for some _really_ immoral thing, lost all his money and fired me, and now I work at a coffee shop. Did _you_ ever graduate?”

“I was done being homeschooled by fourteen, than I was in public high school.” Goddesses, he’s cold. “Valedictorian.”

“Nice. So, you’re a nerd.”

“I regret my decision.” He meant his decision to get in Shadow’s car.

Shadow nods—he seems to think that Vaati was referring to the decision of being a nerd in high school. “Wait, where the hell do you live?”

“Take a right.”

Shadow sucks at turning—the wheels of the car go on the sidewalk before Shadow fixes it. “Are your airbags working?”

“Probably,” Shadow says. That worries Vaati. “I’m a good driver.”

“Sure.”

“Better than you.”

“I bet you’re the type of person who’s waits three minutes before they have to be somewhere, and then speeds the entire way there.”

“...I feel called out.”

“Good! I’m calling you out! Take a left here.” He spoke too late—Shadow passed it.

“Damn.”

“Are you kidding, it takes like, forty minutes before we can do a U-turn and then another forty minutes before you can turn.”

“More like twenty, I’ve driven past here before.”

“But you speed like you’re trying to outrun every past mistake—which probably includes speeding like this and getting tickets—you’ve ever had,” Vaati points out. “I follow the speed limit.”

“No signs tell me what to do!”

“You’re literally stupid.”

“You’re literally in my car—would you rather get home within the hour, or three hours if we’re lucky?” The speed increases by ten miles per hour. Vaati sighs—but at least the highway is basically empty and the rain is starting to lessen.

Within the hour, Shadow pulls up by the apartment complex Vaati lives in. “Thanks,” he says.

“Yeah, don’t mention it.” Shadow says. Vaati opens the door.

“Have fun with Vio,” he responds, pulls up his hood and trudges up the stairs to his apartment. Shadow speeds off into the night.

By the time Vaati’s reached his apartment, he’s soaked through his clothes, shivering. His apartment is cold, but dry. He reluctantly turns on the heater and grabs a towel and tries to dry off, wrings out his purple hair, rubs at his eyes and puts a kettle on the stove.

He changes into warm clothes that don’t stick to his skin and aren’t see through, runs a comb through his hair, makes tea. Eventually, he’s sitting in the recliner in the living room, reading a book he chose at random in the store with a bitter cup of jasmine. Something is bothering him.

Hours later, when he’s getting ready to sleep, his phone vibrates—Shadow’s calling and immediately, Vaati scowls. He’s calling in sick, he knows. Probably not even sick, he’s probably drunk and is gonna spend the entire morning hungover. He answers, sighs, rubs at his temple. “What?”

Shadow sounds very sober, actually. “You’re gonna hate me.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

There’s a sigh on the other end. “Something came up.”

“So, you’re not coming to work tomorrow.”

“...I’m sorry, I just—“

“No,” Vaati says. “We’re understaffed as it is! And you know we’re busiest on Saturdays, half the people we serve don’t even buy the books, they come to buy coffee when they could go to any other place that serves coffee, but they go to a rundown bookstore to go to an understaffed, underpaid coffee shop that never has more than three employees. If you don’t show up, it loses half of it’s employees, and then you’re gonna be working the rest of your career by yourself behind that counter, because I’m gonna have an aneurysm and be hospitaized and then quit and never able to hold down another job.”

“Does it really matter?” Shadow asks. “You always say I do nothing back there anyway.”

“We both know I’m exaggerating!” He shouts. “At least be there for— _moral support_.”

“Vaati, I—“

“If you don’t come into work tomorrow, I’m literally going to—“ He doesn’t know what he’s going to do. He isn’t about to threaten Shadow. “You need to come into work tomorrow.” He isn’t going to leave any room for argument—he is done. He hangs up and throws the phone on the coffee table nearby.

...Shadow’s totally not going to come to work tomorrow.

Sure enough, Shadow doesn’t show up for work—he’s the only other employee Vaati has, so this coffee shop would be screwed without him, but they’re still screwed right now.

He’s three minutes into his shift and the day could not end sooner.

The next shift rolls in, wearing aprons. One of the employees, a young woman with red hair and green eyes look at him. “Wow,” she says. “You look terrible.”

Vaati scowls. He hates every last person in this building.

The only consolation, after a day of spilled coffee, customers shouting swears, being repeatedly misgendered, and dealing with idiots, is afterwards, he has two days off.

Those two days end too soon and he’s back at work. Shadow’s already there, pulling on gloves, his shoulders slumped.

Vaati decides he’s still pissed at him. He fixes his apron, doesn’t say a word and mentally braces himself for the day, not even glancing at Shadow.

A woman comes up. Vaati opens his mouth to say literally anything, but she interrupts. “Black coffee, with milk and sugar.” ...She might not know what ‘black coffee’ is. “Large.”

“Three seventy nine,” he responds. The woman counts each bit of change slowly before handing it to him.

“...Shouldn’t you greet your customers?” A muscle in his face twitches. He bites his tongue.

Shadow pushes a white cup of coffee across the counter at her. Things are quiet right now. “Here.”

The woman scoffs and walks off, Vaati glares daggers at her while she leaves.

It’s a day like any other day—except, much too quiet. When noon comes around, Vaati expects Shadow to go on break, but instead he stares at the doors, looking distant. “You can go ahead and take your lunch,” he says.

He doesn’t question it. Screw him. He clocks out for lunch.

When he comes back, Shadow’s barely moved—and Vio still hasn’t arrived.

It’s not that Vaati cares. He doesn’t—he’s still pissed, but...

Two days pass—Shadow’s been coming to work more and more disheveled. Vio still doesn’t come around noon. Shadow looks defeated.

Three more days pass—and Vaati nearly loses it. “Are you on drugs?” He asks.

Shadow looks at him. “...What?”

“Are you on drugs?” Shadow blinks and looks at him. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I really don’t wanna talk about it,” he responds.

There’s something really wrong. “You’re not even wearing your eyeliner,” he says. Shadow doesn’t say anything. “...What happened?”

“I really,” he starts, grabbing his keys and removing his gloves. “Don’t want to talk about it, Vaati.”

“...It has something to do with Vio.” Shadow sighs, rubs at his temples like he’s the one getting a migraine. “Seriously, what is it?”

“Vio goes to a different book store now,” he responds. “One across town.”

He doesn’t know what to say. “Sorry.”

“That’s not what I’m upset about it,” Shadow argues. “It’s that, in the span of twenty four hours, my cat ran away from home, a friend of mine invited me to hang out out of pity because he felt bad that he’d likely never see me again and was going to another book store, and then I lost my apartment.”

“You lost your apartment?” Vaati asks.

“Yeah—stupid neighbors didn’t know how to put out a grease fire. No one got hurt, but now everyone’s homeless. I’ve been sleeping in my car waiting for my next paycheck so I have a hope of being able to pay the rent for somewhere, but all I have is enough to pay the gas so long as I park a few hours away.” He glumly pulls out a small package of gum. “I don’t know where the hell Azalea is right now, but it’s probably better than where I am.” He pops a piece in his mouth. “Just _one_ day, and two days later, I’m still reeling.” He throws the wrapper into a trash can and turns back to face Vaati. “So I’m not doing too good right now.”

Vaati doesn’t know how to respond. Shadow sighs. “Look, I need to go.”

“Why don’t you just go to a shelter?”

He stares at him flatly. “Have you seen the shelters around here? The only relatively good one is one run by the Salvation Army and...no. _No_. No, Vaati.”

“Alright. Well...” Shadow sighs. “Isn’t there anywhere you can stay?”

“No,” he says. “Not really. Don’t have that much family I’m on speaking terms with, and the bit of family I can speak to and who can help me is a two day drive away. I’m on my own out here.”

Well, that’s just sad.

“There has to be something—“

“I seriously need to leave, Vaati.” He grabs his keys, jingling his his hands and turns.

It’s Vaati’s fault—he’s a sap, he guesses. He doesn’t know—he moved out here to try to know, but he’s getting the feeling. “You can stay with me,” he says. Shadow freezes, turns. “...I know I’m not the best option, but...You can crash in my living room. I have a shower and food—it’s better than a car.”

“Thought you hated me,” Shadow says.

“I don’t hate you,” Vaati sighs. “I hate this job—and you’re a part of the job.”

Shadow blinks. “...That’s not that much better.”

“Of course it is,” Vaati says. “Because you’re not the job.”

“But you just said I’m a part of—“

“Look, I don’t hate you, Shadow—I just think this job makes us want to hate each other, and also the world, and everyone in it. ...If anything, Saturday showed me you are far from useless.” So long as he _showed up to work_.

Shadow crosses his arms—doesn’t meet Vaati’s eyes. “...I can pay you rent or something. Until I find another apartment.”

“Don’t bother. You can just drive me home after work, that’s good enough for me. Also, never leave me alone on a Saturday ever again.” Shadow still isn’t looking at him. “...Seriously, Shadow. You’re making me feel bad.”

Shadow sighs. “Okay. But this is only temporary.”

“Wouldn’t want it any other way,” Vaati responds, tucks his hair into his hood, marches out with Shadow in tow. He seriously wouldn’t. He expects this to suck.

They spend the drive in silence.

Vaati tugs him to his apartment and shoves him into the bathroom to shower while he makes tea—because this day’s been stressful and he’s forming an addiction, he thinks.

When Shadow comes out, his hair sopping wet and sticking to his face they just kind of awkwardly stare at each other. Finally, Shadow speaks up. “Minnesota.”

“...Yes?”

“You’re from Minnesota?”

“...Yes?” Shadow looks totally baffled. “Do you have a personal grudge against Minnesota or...?”

“I assumed you just... lived here.”

“Do you just live here?”

“Yes,” Shadow says.

“Oh.” Vaati wishes he knew how to talk to people.

“Why’d you move from Minnesota, it’s so far away.”

Vaati shrugs. “Didn’t like it there. Small town, everyone was dumb.” He’s not actually going to go into the specifics—they’re friends now or whatever, but like, new friends. New friends don’t know your entire life story, probably.

“And people are so intelligent here?”

He shrugs again—maybe everywhere just kind of sucks. Maybe everyone is stupid in their own stupid way. Maybe you just can’t escape how much everything sucks.

Vaati expects the next week to be hell—because why wouldn’t it be? He can no longer have any sort of escape from Shadow. They still don’t get along.

Shadow is actually more useful at work now—neither of them get all their breaks, because they’re so understaffed, but work is slightly more bearable. Or maybe he’s just so glad he’s not by himself again, he’s willing to accept literally anything from Shadow, even the bare minimum.

Within a week, Shadows already gone from his apartment.

They don’t speak about that week. Shadow managed to find a rat infested apartment to live in for the time being. “I’m saving some money with how much it sucks,” he says. “So, I bought a cage and everytime I find a rat, I put them in the cage and now I have pets.”

“You’re gonna catch a disease.”

“They’re sweethearts.”

“They’re rats.”

“No—they’re _pandas_.” Shadow rolls his eyes. “I’d invite you over, but if all you’re gonna do is insult my rat babies.”

“Shadow, they’re rats.”

“They’re my friends.” He rolls his eyes again. “It’s fine, I’m being very careful. Look, I have pictures!”

Vaati looks at his phone screen—which is very difficult, because his brightness is all the way down. Actually, it looks like Shadow went to his settings and turned down the white point, because it’s so dark, Vaati really has to squint. “...Those are mice, Shadow.”

“...What’s the difference?”

“Rats eat mice, for one,” Vaati says. “And they’re larger.”

“Maybe they’re baby rats.”

“No, they’re adult mice,” Vaati says. “And I don’t know if that’s better or worse.”

“I thought they were mice?”

“I’m losing brain cells from this conversation,” Vaati says. He puts a croissant down. “Kris?” He calls.

An old woman walks up, frowns. “Are you Kris?” Vaati asks.

She tears it in half and looks at him. “I thought I asked for a green tea?”

“Are you Kris?”

“No.”

“Did I hear my name?” A teenage girl asks, walking up. “...Oh no, my croissant.”

Vaati blinks. “Ma’am, we already gave you you’re green tea. It’s on your table.”

The woman snorts. “I think I’d know if I already had my—“ Vaati points to the table she got up from. A styrofoam cup sits there. “What’s it doing over there? There goes your tip!”

Vaati bites his tongue, so he doesn’t mention that the woman had crammed a five dollar bill into the tip jar earlier. Shadow looks at him—goddesses, people are stupid.

His phone vibrates on his bed. He sighs and pick it up—great. Shadow’s calling him. This can’t be good.

He considers just declining the call, but he answers anyway. “If you call into work—“

“I’m not calling into work,” Shadow insists. “I’m calling because I’m bored.”

“Read a book or something.”

“I’m so bored,” Shadow complains. “Entertain me, Vaati.”

“Clean something.”

“ _Why_ did you say that, Vaati. I’m so bored.”

“I don’t know what you want from me.”

“Wanna play Smash?”

“Play what?”

“Smash Brothers.”

Vaati pauses. “I think I’ll pass.”

“You’re just worried I’ll beat you.”

“No,” he says. “I cannot even put into words how confident I am that I could beat you at your stupid video games. I’ve seen you—you’re terrible, you always lose.”

“Pokémon is a lot different from Smash Brothers.”

“You kept using Scorbunny, but she was the weakest Pokémon on your team.”

“ _Sally_ could kick _your_ Pokémon’s _ass_! Come on—I’m invincible as Pikachu.”

“I’m a Mario main.”

Shadow scoffs. “Pikachu could kick Mario’s ass.”

“This is stupid,” Vaati says.

“Yes—we should be playing Smash Brothers instead of arguing.”

“I really need to go grocery shopping.”

“I’ll bring chicken wings.”

He sighs. “Sure, why not. I’ll go shopping tomorrow. Why do I need food in the house?”

“...I’m bringing dinner?”

“Alright. It’s not like I have anything better to do.”

“Victory! I’m already going to pick up chicken wings and then I’ll be right over.”

Vaati smiles—they’re both just as stupid as their customers. “I feel like you’re taking advantage of my gaming system.”

“My Switch survived the fire.”

“How?”

“It was in my car.”

“Why was it in your car?”

“Because I’m reckless with my possessions. Gotta go, I’m driving, bye!” Shadow hangs up.

Vaati sighs—he has work in the morning—and he’s going to be staying up too late to play Smash Brothers.

But he can’t help but to smile at how stupid they both are.

Someone knocks at the door. Vaati rolls his eyes, but he’s still smiling. Shadow’s holding a paper bag. “Some are like—cauliflower,” he says. “Because you’re not vegan.”

”You’re stupid.”

”And you’re _not?”_


End file.
